being a rebel's fine, but you go all the way to being brutal

Hey, remember when I was lamenting about not being cool?

I just became extraordinarily cool without even knowing it. Actually, the defining moment must have been a few weeks or even months ago, but I just caught wind of it 20 minutes ago. And to be truthful, I'll only be cool to dudes between the ages of 9 and 40, and on a materialistic basis. To explain:

Yesterday, the UPS guy left a slip on my door. I didn't order anything, and I'm not expecting anything, so I was really curious. According to the UPS tracking thing, the package weighs five pounds and originated somewhere in Minnesota. That automatically precluded any cool gift from the Hurricanes, which was actually my first thought. I don't have any strange charges on any of my credit cards, so it was a big mystery, but I had them hold it at the holding tank so I could pick it up.

I opened this box in the parking lot, and I saw a bag of Mountain Dew ballcaps. Okay, whatever. Maybe five of them. And a bag of t-shirts. Whatever. Then there's all these postcards in the bottom of the box, and I think "holy shit". In the very bottom of the box, a note indicating that I am a winner. They even called me that.

Dear Every 10 Minutes Winner:
Congratulations! Enclosed is your Mountain Dew Every 10 Minutes 'Party in a Box' prize. For updated information on when you will receive your Xbox 360 game system please check your account history over the next few days ......
Blah blah blah
Very truly yours,
Pepsi-Cola Consumer Care

Jeez. I've won a really fancy video game system.

You remember that contest they had? I had forgotten all about it. I had forgotten that I even entered.

The thing is, I'm not that much of a "gamer". I like to play the sports video games, but that's it. However, it would be a shame to let this thing go to waste. They're not for sale yet, but they'll be going for $400. One of my co-workers is really stoked about the release of these things. It's all he's talked about for the past few days. I could offer to sell it to him for $250 or something, but he's kind of a douchebag, and I'd feel dirty doing him that favor. I could sure use the dough, but I have principles.

So.... Who wants to come over and play video games? I rekkon I'll get this thing sometime next week.

By the way, these hats are really nice. Black, with the Mountain Dew logo on the front and XBOX360 on the back. The best thing is, they're made with that stretch-fit stuff, so it looks like a fitted cap, and more importantly, it fits my enormous melon.

Since I won this Xbox by entering the contest once, I should capitalize on my luck by purchasing powerball tickets.

now playing:
The Dandy Warhols Odditorium, or Warlords Of Mars