you've been chosen as an extra in the movie adaptation of the sequel to your life

I'm going to break a longstanding tradition this coming Monday. Monday will be my birthday, and instead of spending it with a girl I have a crush on, the way I have for the past (I think) six birthdays, I'll be spending it with my parents. Thinking about this, by the way, has made me recall that one of those was my most crushing crush ever. Six years ago. A girl I had every chance in the world with, but I never made it happen. She was single, and we had mutual attraction to one another, but she was emotionally unavailable. Boy did I like her, though. Anyway....

I'll be going down to Charlotte to partake of the Panthers game. Probably the only one I'll make it to this season. Interestingly, this will be the second year in a row that they've had a home game on my birthday. I didn't go last year because I was in Canada at some boiling hot shopping mall with Amanda. I didn't even hear the score until after we got back to North Carolina two days later. We lost that game (27-10 to the Falcons), and the only other time we played on my birthday (1999), we got beat by the Redskins 38-36 on a last second field goal.
That 1999 game was crap. Tshimanga Biakabutuka had three touchdown runs (60 yards, 1 yard, 45 yards) in the first quarter alone. I believe at the end of the first quarter he had five touches for 123 yards. Then, dumbass George Siefert did something that Panthers fans still talk about to this day. He benched Biakabutuka. Dude was glowing hot, but coach had to stick with his retarded game plan of platooning Biakabutuka and Fred "Dead Boy" Lane.
Third time's a charm? I hope so. The last two Panther games on October 3 haven't ended so well. However, we've got the unenviable task of hosting an 0-3 Packers team that has no business being 0-3.

Alas, I will not be going on another fake date this year. Nor will I be lavishly treated to fancy dinner by good friends. Read two different accounts of the same birthday dinner that Reid treated this mysterious "Megarita" to. I will be eating a football stadium hot dog with 70,000 strangers. And I'm gonna love it.

Actually, I'm going to a surprise birthday party for someone else on Saturday night, and it's also be a celebration of my birthday. Sort of. I'm told that I'm halfway expected to make out with the birthday girl, who is a close friend of Dr. Awesome's girlfriend. I've met her on several occasions, and I wouldn't mind making out with her. There's a catch, though. Sort of. She's a lesbian. However, they say she likes to make out with dudes when she gets drunk. If this were to happen, there obviously wouldn't be any strings attached, so it would just be fun. I'm not sure, but there might also be another girl there who DA's lady has been trying to set me up with.

The details I'll provide about that will be vague at best. Chances are, nothing at all will happen, but we'll see.

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