"but i'm not working for you"

I know this is the second time in less than two weeks that I've quoted Superchunk's Slack Motherfucker, but that line in the post title actually has some relevance to what I'm about to say. One of those rare occurrences, I know, but please bear with me.

Yesterday, I was let go from my job. After seven years of devoted service. The owners told me that they could see that I was getting more and more burned out. They're not wrong about that. I do get burned out. Everyone does from time to time, and I think restaurant managers might get even more so. We don't get nights off, we don't get weekends off, we don't get holidays off. These are out busiest times. That, in and of itself can be a little stressful. That restaurant in particular is mega-busy and I felt a lot of pressure on my shoulders. Some of it was self-imposed, some of it I was too stubborn to let it slide off my back. I was kind of doing it to myself, but I was walking around with this Atlas-like burden. That's not healthy for anybody. I haven't been very good about allowing myself to take vacations, either. This is my hard-headed fault. I was entitled to paid leave, and I almost never took it.

So the owners were saying that they thought I was too unhappy with work. They DID NOT say that I was injuring the company in any way, though. They kept making it sound like they were doing me a favor. You know, setting me free so I can do other things with my life. Guess what? I've been doing this for 10 years now, and this is pretty much what I know how to do. I don't have any other marketable skills, and my four-year degree in Political Science is only marginally marketable.

So, it's either start from scratch in some completely different line, or go work as a line cook somewhere else. I know I already have a cooking job lined up. I could start today if I wanted to. But I don't want to start today. I'm going to take a few days to decompress, relax, think about other things, and then maybe consider some other options.

I'm kind of lost now. I don't rightly know what my next step is, but I know I need to relax for a couple of weeks. Don't worry about me. They gave me some money as a severance that'll be enough to where I wouldn't have to worry about it for quite a while.

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