there's something wrong with my toast

After work last night, I went to that birthday party. I wasn't quite sure what to expect, but it was kinda cool. Dr. A's girlfriend had already been drinking for a few hours by the time we got there, so she was pretty hammered. So was the (sort of) Birthday Girl. Her real birthday isn't until Friday, but she got the party a week early. Anyway, DA's old lady kept trying to introduce me to people that I already know. And she knows that I know them. It was kinda funny.

To end the suspense, there was no "making out". The birthday girl was really hammered and REALLY horny. She was being quite direct about what she thought she wanted. Thankfully, all of the guys there had the decency to leave it alone. If she had been sober and demanding that one of us lay her, that would be a different story. She ended up passing out pretty early. As a side note, one of the funniest things I've heard in a while was said to the birthday girl about me:

David is my favorite neighbor, and he'll totally fuck you.

Of course I didn't. It was quite an adventure, though.

That other girl, the one Bridgett wants me to hook up with ... um, no. First of all, I don't like being "set up", and I just don't have any interest in her. I'm sure she's nice, but I don't really want to pursue her or anyone right now. I'm perfectly happy to have a silly harmless crush on a lesbian.

Fortunately, the birthday girl has no recollection of the parts about last night that might have caused embarrassment or uneasiness.

Now, moving on to my own birthday...

Since I don't get to spend it with a hot girl or any fantastic friends (unless you think my mom is hot and my parents are fantastic friends), I'll be asking for two things. I'll ask the sports gods to give me two things:

1. A Carolina Panthers victory over the Green Bay Packers on my own birthday, with me in attendance


2. A Carolina Hurricanes victory (in their home opener) over the Pittsburgh Penguins on October 7 as a belated birthday for me, and on the actual birthdays of Eleanor, and of the aforementioned drunken lesbian birthday girl. The drunken lesbian doesn't care, but Eleanor does.

Don't look for me as you watch Monday Night Football. You won't see me unless they send a cameraman into the nosebleeds. You have a very good chance, though, of seeing me on TV at the Canes game, provided you live in the Hurricanes TV market.

now playing:

Brita Phillips & Dean Wareham L'Avventura