I'm just the kitchen manager, but even I was getting the stupid questions.
- No, we don't have green beer. That's a retarded gimmick for fratboys and other jackass-types. We're so busy that you're going to have to wait five minutes for your beer as it is. Asking the barkeep to add food coloring would make everyone's beer take longer. Bring your own food coloring if you're that into it.
- No, we're not having any specials on that Irish stout. We don't even serve Guinness. We craft our own stout right here, and frankly, we think it has a richer flavor than Guinness and our stout doesn't have that metallic taste that Guinness has. Please enjoy one of our stouts, our one of the other six beers we make.
- No, we're not serving corned beef and cabbage. Another gimmick. Do you tell your wife that you love her only on Valentine's Day? Fucking putz. However, you can enjoy a tasty Reuben sandwich. That sauerkraut used to be cabbage. You'll like it better, and you won't get gas as bad.
Sorry again for the hostility. It has nothing to do with any of you, dear readers.
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1 comment:
I hate the green beer thing. I mean, I'm already doing 10 things at once. So I'm well above my multi-task level of 6. I told one brainiac that I would put a drop of green in his beer for $20. He took me up on it! There's no accounting for stupidity.
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