Sunday, June 05, 2005

i see you've got the blues in your alligator shoes. but me, i'm all smiles. i've got my crocodiles

One of the sad things about my new place of work is that I can't share jokes with people. First off, I'm the new guy and I don't really get a sense of camaraderie. Secondly, I'm the only white kid from middle class upbringing, so my cultural background is different. There's the Spaniards, and then the rest of the kitchen staff is African-American. We had different childhood experiences. Different musical tastes and different cultural icons.
An example of a joke I used to love to tell people. Okay, not so much a "joke" as something that I think is bizarre and funny. It involves an object found in every restaurant kitchen, and something that you may well have in your home. If you have a box of Argo brand corn starch, I encourage you to go get it. It's very important that you have this brand name. Clabber Girl won't work. Generic corn starch won't work. If you don't have it or you aren't at home, I suggest you click on the above link for a picture of the box. For hilarity's sake, you may have to enlarge the picture or whatever. Anyway, here goes......

Take a look at the cover star of the Argo box. It looks like the love child of a corn cob and the drummer from Def Leppard.

(queue rim shot)
(queue sparse laughter)

You know, .... because of the arm.

(queue crickets chirping)

And then I found five dollars.

See, I can't really tell that joke because the Spaniards don't know who Def Leppard is and the other guys probably don't either.

However, my egg jokes span all cultural bounds:
Eggs.... They're all they're cracked up to be
Oops,.... looks like the yolks on you!

I have more, but I get the feeling that you want me to stop.

That's all I have for you


doug said...

You are gonna get sooo many hits for "Clabber Girl Naked".

Dan said...

Great blog you have here. Got another quick egg joke for you.

The chicken and the egg are lying in bed together. The egg rolls over, lights up a cigarette, and says, "Well, I guess that answers that question."

There's one more great egg joke in my repoitorie, but it's kinda naughty, and I haven't gone through your archive yet to see what I can get away with :)


d-lee said...

By all means, let's hear the egg joke.
There are no holds barred at red-new-black. My egg jokes are just corny. I need better ones.

Dan said...

Okie, you aked for it...

What's so bad about being an egg?

You only get laid once.
You only get eaten once.
It takes ten minutes to get hard,
and three minutes to get soft.
Then you gotta come, in a box, with 11 other guys.
And the only one who'll sit on your face is your own momma.