Wednesday, July 27, 2005

extra sugar, extra salt, extra oil and msg

Art does not imitate life. I'll offer example #8675309

Last night, I was messing around with the a/v connections from the dvd player to the tv, so I had to climb behind the big bulky entertainment stand. On my way out from behind there, I knocked over the floor lamp I have over there.

In the movies, this would have resulted in, at the very least, a boatload of broken glass, in huge, big thick pieces. There would have been a small fire, or perhaps a very loud and brilliantly colorful explosion. Dogs would have barked, car alarms would have gone off, the whole nine yards. You know the drill.

In my case though, nothing happened. The lamp is all beat up and doesn't work anymore, but there was no explosion, and the light bulb didn't even break. I was very disappointed. The need for a new lamp gave me a perfect excuse to go to Tar-jay, though, so it wasn't a complete loss.

Next time, I'll want Ridley Scott to direct the film of "lamp knocked over". It'll be great. It'll be all dark (no pun intended) and stuff, and at the critical moment, the filming will be done at something really ridiculous like 1000 frames per second so that you, the edge-of-seat-sitting audience can see the detail on every speck of dust as it gets kicked around.

now playing:
Superchunk -- Come Pick Me Up
Superchunk Come Pick Me Up

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